It all started a few months after I started my photography business several years ago. I remember being on a photographer's website and reading that she volunteers her time to photograph children who either don't have long to live, or have already passed away. After a lot of time and tears that night, I KNEW that was what I was suppose to do.
Although this 'God-press' was always with me, I let a lot of things, well, excuses, stand in the way of taking the next step. I became comfortable in my own life. Also, just starting out in the business, I felt very intimidated by this particular photographer and the fact that she reviews a person's work before allowing them to become a part of her organization. ("What if I wasn't good enough?") I also used the excuse that we may be moving out of state and it seemed better to wait until we found out where we'd be living. All of these were just excuses that allowed me to stay in my comfort zone, but kept me out of God's will for my life.
Meanwhile, we made plans to move from Georgia to Arizona. Before leaving, we mentioned to someone at our church in Georgia how much we were going to miss Crossroads. He nonchalantly said, "I don't know where you're moving in Arizona, but I have a friend who is a pastor at a church there and it's very similar to Crossroads." Turns out, not only was Lifechurch.tv the most PERFECT fit for all of us, it was only 10 minutes from our house!
So here's where "Chazown" comes into play... A few months after we moved here, I got an email from our pastor with an invitation to join a small group. The focus was going to be on a book writen by Craig Groeschel (our main pastor out of Oklahoma). For some reason, I (again) KNEW we were suppose to be in this group.
To make a long story short, "Chazown" is Hebrew for a vision or dream. The Bible says, "Where there is no vision (chazown), the people perish" (Proverbs 29:8, KJV). The study takes past experiences, spiritual gifts and core values to help you hear from God on what HIS purpose for your life is. After reading, praying, journaling and discussion, I was once again reminded of what I was suppose to be doing.
So about the time I finished this study, I decided I wasn't going to let any excuses get in the way of what I knew I was suppose to be doing. In one week's time, I applied to two different organizations dedicated to photographing terminally ill children and babies. (The parents call the photographer out to the hospital to take professional photos of the baby at no cost.) Also that week, I emailed a nurse from a hospital nearby to see if she could help me make my services available for anyone in need.
At the end of that week, I remember getting a generic email from my MOMS Club about a mom whom I had never met. They explained that she was pregnant and the doctors had detected several problems with her baby boy. The same voice that had consistantly spoken to me made it very clear that I should talk to her.
Alicia not only allowed me the opportunity to photography Gavin during his short time here, she and her family also allowed me to be in the operating room during her c-section and stay with their family as they all loved, held and said goodbye to Gavin. Although I felt like I had lost someone very close to me that day, I also felt like I had gained a special relationship with a wonderful family.
I thank God for opening the doors and allowing me to carry out His specific will for my life.
Alicia asked that I post an email she sent me.
"Christy,
I need to say thank you again. Without you, so many moments of our son's life would have gone undocumented. I have so many wonderful images to remind me just what his lips looked like, or the curve of his cheek, or the angle of his nose, all of the things I feared I wouldn't be able to remember. These are gifts you've given me that I can't even describe their importance. I could never have given him such a beautiful service that didn't look thrown together without the pictures and dvd. You captured a lifetime of photos, his short lifetime's worth, and I am SO grateful. I pray daily to be in the spirit for my children despite feeling my gift was not left for me to enjoy. We have many blessings to be grateful for, including the wonderful moments we had with Gavin, so I will snap out of it. Some moments are easier than others. Thank you, again,
Alicia"
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